Hello everyone, welcome aboard! Can’t imagine it took me sooo long to get this post done. How did bloggers do that all the time?! 😹 But bragging about my 2017 #yolo year is mandatory before I get into the topic. Please bear with me (pic above, pun intended) coz I’m a grandma who has alot to say. So read at your own risk. lol

2017 was exceptional. It was the year I chose to remain single. And that probably made all the difference.With my newfound freedom, I got addicted to wanderlust. I’m a certified diver who almost drowned my instructor, jet-sadder who arrives at the boarding gate on time but could still miss my flight to Phuket, did Shanghai Disneyland in sweaty 38C summer heatness, did not slept nor shower for 36hrs in India (gross but it’s ok I still look hot in pics), hiked a volcano in the darkness to see the melting blue flames at East Java, front row seats at my first ever KL Fashion Week, took refuge for a night at a kind Sri Lankan home during a crazy seastorm, partied & ate like nobody’s business from Singapore to Phuket on Its The Ship 2017, lounged in our luxe villas like royalty every damn day in Bali, got stranded in the middle of the sea twice for more than 12hrs at Komodo Island, slept on a cockroach-infested wooden sampan’s floorboard while drifting in pitch darkness at Labuan Bajo, watched the best K-Pop X’mas concert from our front row seats (again, i iz lucky) at Jeju Shinhwa World, played snow like a kid at Hallasan Mountain, and dragged my brother King along to walk 5km with me from Burj Al Arab to the Mall of the Emirates in Dubai because we don’t have enough cash to take a cab. lol

This was also the year I learnt to love myself more. I’m more aware of myself and the new possibilities in my life. And I am literally in a state of Nirvana now lol. That means, bad things don’t really affect my mood anymore. Love this quote from Lady Gaga – “They can’t scare me, if I scare them first”. Nothing can affect your mood, unless if you allow them to!

(These are my current thoughts, it makes perfect sense at this moment, but people do change, it could become invalid on me in a few months or years time, so don’t judge me by then!)

1. You are the most important thing in this world.

You are the QUEEN. You matter the most. Create your own happiness. Make yourself happy. Do whatever that makes things right at that moment. Buy that ice-cream if it will cheer you up. Take a day off work. Cut relations if they are too toxic. You get the point. Love yourself like you’re not waiting for someone else to do it.

2. Have stories to tell, not things to show.

This is the year where wanderlust bit me hard. Yo Gucci, while I do really love you and wanna be part of the Gucci Gang, I’d still be happier spending my money in Boracay sippin’ on margaritas and get my adrenaline high on cliff jumping.

3. It’s okay to be single

Probably the best thing that could happen in life. You get the whole bed to yourself. No one kicks you at midnight. You can eat all the pizzas kfcs and potato chips in the world. You don’t have to act cute in front of his grandmother. Being in a relationship is expensive. Single = no more wasting money on gifts. Your bank account is happy. With that money you can legit buy a flight tix off to Bali tomorrow. So I think I’ll just be a cheapo and stay single. lol

Being single is not scary. Being in a toxic relationship is. Some people feel ashamed of being single. Some think that if you’re single, it means you’re not good enough. But I’d rather wait for the right person to come along than to settle for all the wrong ones. Don’t make the mistake of rushing into another relationship too fast! You won’t be single forever, so why not take some sweet single me time while you’re still at it? Pamper yourself. Book that flight ticket. Pick up a new hobby. Dye your hair crazy. Like all heartbreaks, it hurts real baaaad at first, but it’s going to be worth the wait. Being single does not mean you are a loser. It just means that you are strong enough to wait for the right one.

Embrace solitude. It’s okay to be alone sometimes. (But maybe not all the time like me haha). Not everyone is going to be available for you all the time. I understand that some people get really insecure when they are alone/don’t have friends 24/7 around them. I used to be that person in high school who is afraid to be seen eating alone at the canteen, walking alone in corridors. I felt that like I’m not cool enough if I don’t have friends with me (it sounds so stupid now lol) For now, I just enjoy spending a lot of me time in my curb, go shopping alone etc. If you’re lost, spend some quality time with yourself and listen to yourself. Light up some candles, listen to bossa nova, read a book, take a long hot shower. I looove long hot showers. It calms me down after a long day and I always felt better after that.

4. Invest in people who invest in you

This is important! I wish I realized this earlier. Everyone should make themselves a priority. You should value yourself and your time more than anything else.

Walk away from things/people that no longer serve you. You can’t force friendship or relationships. Nothing lasts forever, so it’s alright to lose some people in life. Now don’t get me wrong, the good memories I had with these people are priceless and sooo important to me, I still love them to bits (that’s why I had a really hard time cutting them off in the first place). But as we grow, it’s so easy to drift apart. If it’s meant to be yours, it will be.

If the friendship/relationship was toxic/going nowhere, cut them off. You are fabulous and you deserve respect & value. You will surround yourself with people who appreciate your presence.

Say yes/no more often. Feel like going out? GO. Don’t feel like meeting up? REJECT. Being mistreated? VOICE UP. Have courage to voice up for yourselves! Keep life simple.

 

5. Stop comparing yourselves to others

Thanks to social media, we constantly compare our lives to others, thus creating unnecessary insecurities. Social media platforms is great for inspiring us to chase our goals and dreams, but it should not make you feel bad/inferior of yourself.

Stop the FOMO. If you do something and it brings joy to your heart, by all means, please do it. But please don’t do it out of FOMO (fear of missing out). You’re still going to have a pretty amazing life even if you skip a party. You’re still going to be happy and successful and awesome, if you took some me-time. It’s okay if you don’t own any Chanel or Guccis (yet). It’s okay to stay in on weekend nights. It’s okay if you can’t open a bathtub full of Moet in Zouk to prove that you’re a baller (I’ll still be your friend). It’s okay if you’re not perfect like Angelababy. It’s okay because, no one actually gives a f? We always think too highly of ourselves and how people will judge us. Fact is, no one really cares? The losers might talk behind you for a while, but after that they will be too busy living their lil pathetic life and forget about you in a sec. So don’t you worry child! Which also comes to my second point.

Days doesn’t matter anymore. You know this misconception that society has on us, that is you must celebrate birthdays/valentines/festivities lavishly/having a blast. All these while, I was also buying into this FOMO thing until recently. Instead of partying, I was  chillin’ at home with my family on Christmas & NYE, and that’s alright for me. told ya i’m an old soul

For me, it doesn’t matter how I spent my birthday because it’s just a date in the calendar. And sometimes, you do have some normal days which are even well spent than your birthday right. So if your friends forget your birthday/did not celebrate it with you/your partner did not buy you flowers on Valentines, don’t let a goddamn date ruin your mood! If you live in the moment & lived everyday as your best, it doesn’t really matter what day of the year it is. I mean, you should be living every damn day like its NYE or your birthday!

Phew! If you made it this far, thank you for reading ;p Would love to hear your thoughts!

Next post (which I don’t know when yet) will be about Jeju ♥️ Stay tuned!

x, Mel